Whether Dale Carnegie would agree or not, the basic principles of his How to Win Friends and Influence People could be rewritten as a primer for sharing whiskey and bourbon culture with your friends and family. Those same tenets work equally well whether you’re at a networking event, a tasting event or just gathering new friends and acquaintances for a pour.
1. Do Not Criticize
“A whiskey critic is like an unwanted hangover. It sticks around and leaves a bad taste.”
Everyone has a different palate, and part of being a great member of the whiskey community is respecting that we don’t all love the same bourbons and whiskies. When sipping whiskey with friends, focus on the shared enjoyment instead of focusing on pointing out flaws in the selection. Like bourbon, our conversation about it should be lively and complex, but avoid the sharp bite of unnecessary criticism.
2. Give Honest, Sincere Appreciation
“Just as bourbon ages gracefully, so does the power of a compliment.”
A lot of effort goes into each sip of bourbon, from the farmer that produces the grain to the team that makes the copper stills, the master distiller and her team refining the manufacturing process, the warehouse manager watching the bourbon age, and the blenders and bottlers who take those barrels and turn them into a bottle of magic.
Sip thoughtfully, with an eye toward the time and energy spent making that particular bottle. Whether someone picked a perfect single barrel or shared their favorite pour, appreciate the moment. Sincere praise is like a well-aged whiskey—it leaves a lasting, warm impression.
A lot of the kindness and courtesy of whiskey groups like Bourbon Women relate to professional and personal conversations and relationships. Give praise where praise is due, and if you’re speaking to someone in the industry, appreciate the time and energy they personally put into crafting and supporting a great pour.
3. Get the Other Person’s Point of View
“Some of the best bourbons come from a blend of barrels— as do great conversations from a blend of perspectives.”
When discussing whiskey, listen to how others experience it. The individual flavors and aromas can be as enlightening as the memories they pull from us. A friend or colleague’s flavor notes might be different from yours, but that’s the beauty of a shared tasting experience. The beauty of this is that when sharing tasting notes, the comment or sensory experience of one person can solicit a recognition of that same nose or flavor in others in the conversation. That can lead every person listening down a sensory trail to new associations and revelations.
As our whiskey industry friends sip bourbon and whiskey, they are often evaluating not just against what classic bourbon tastes like. They are also often considering the region of the distillery, the focus or mission of the business, the community that drives them and the story they want to tell with each sip.
For those in the business, finding out more about the goal of the spirit, the purpose of the expression or the story the distiller or blender wanted to tell can bring new light to the flavors and sensory experience the whiskey brings.
4. Become Genuinely Interested in Other People (and the Whiskies they Love)
“Like discovering a rare bottle on the shelf, getting to know others is always worth the effort.”
Ask others about their favorite bourbon or whiskey stories. Genuine interest can turn a casual chat into a meaningful connection—much like discovering a new favorite dram. We often say the easiest networking you’ll ever do is in a room full of women or diverse people drinking bourbon. Simply ask what’s in their glass or what they think of the pour, or ask them about why they like what they enjoy.
Sometimes, asking someone why they love the pour in their glass is a gateway to some key to their personality, their personal brand or their life story. Just a few questions to dive a little deeper into their bourbon story can reveal a fun story and create lifelong friendships and connections.
5. Smile (it’s Whiskey!)
“A smile pairs well with whiskey—warm, inviting, and a perfect way to start any conversation.”
Whiskey culture is about community. Sharing a pour with a friendly smile opens the door to camaraderie and celebration. Some days we may not have a smile on our faces until we have that first sip of bourbon, but remembering that the whiskey community seeks to invite and share experiences with others may start that grin.
A smile with an invite to a casual tasting at your house might just be enough to open the door to a new friendship or a professional connection. If you’re already a bourbon fan, you likely have more bourbon than you’ll be able to reasonably drink, and offering a warm invite to share a whiskey experience can open many conversations and doors.
6. Remember Names as much as Your Favorite Whiskies
“Just as you’d remember a distillery’s name, remember your friends’ names too—it’s personal and unforgettable.”
The way a distillery name can elevate a whiskey, remembering someone’s name makes them feel valued and unique, much like a hand-picked barrel. Sometimes what we may remember is the event we shared with someone who was a new acquaintance that night rather than a last name. But if you take an extra minute or two to grab a social channel, phone number or business card, you’ll be better able to remember those names.
7. Be a Good Listener Whether They’re Talking about Bourbon or Not!
“Every whiskey tells a story—so does every person. Savor it.”
Just like you’d savor a whiskey’s flavor profile, listen intently when others share their experiences, whether it’s whiskey-related or not. You’ll discover richness in their stories. Recollections, memories, tall tales and tidbits are all likely to fall from the tongue after a few ounces of bourbon.
Other times, it’s the bourbon itself that creates the story that binds people. Listen as much as you talk and ask engaging questions to truly interact with people. Don’t just wait for your next turn to talk!
8. Make the Other Person Feel as Important as Your Favorite Whiskey in Your Glass
“Every bourbon deserves a spotlight, and so does every person.”
Whether it’s their whiskey choice or their life achievements, make sure to acknowledge the importance of their contributions in the same way a rare bourbon is celebrated. A few moments of thanks, a round of applause or a toast for an accomplishment can make a huge difference in someone’s day. Share the spotlight with others and sing their praises when they soar.